Secret proposal tips for photographers
Updated: Sep 1, 2023
In our carefree digital world where texting and online dating are the norm, much of romance and chivalry has, unfortunately, fallen by the wayside.
So it's comforting to know some old-fashioned things haven't changed. The beautiful tradition of a marriage proposal is one life event that is still alive and absolutely thriving, which is great news for all of my fellow hopeless romantics out there.
I'm a romantic person who believes in love, and I've always been really into fairytales and love stories, but as a photographer of a proposal, a perfectly romantic proposal it can be quite a pressure, lots of nervousness and expectations...
There aren’t do-overs. You get one shot. Will you get it right?
It’s high stakes. High pressure. A high risk… that comes with a huge reward. There aren’t do-overs. You get one shot. Will you get it right? If you’ve ever thought about photographing a proposal, I’ve got the 10 secrets to ensure you succeed!
Do a walkthrough
Between the elements of surprise and a moment of asking a question, a lot could go wrong. So you should try to reduce the risk as much as possible.
How?
The best way is definitely to do a walkthrough someday before with the groom-to-be at the exact same time of day that the act is going to be.
This will help the groom to visualize and prepare himself for the unexpected. Also, it's the best way to explain to him what will you need him to do, where to stand, how long to be kneeling...
If there are any holes in the plan, they’ll be discovered and fixed at that moment.
This is also the best way to prepare yourself as a photographer, to make sure the future bride-to-be won’t be able to see you from where she’s standing but ensure you’ll be able to see her.
If you can’t meet in person with a groom ahead of time, I suggest Skyping, emailing, Google Earthing, taking pictures of the spot and explaining to him in detail, drawing... anything that is needed to be on the same page regarding the perfect organization.
That’s what I did for D+C secret proposal!
I even drew him the position I'll need him to kneel 😁
Help the groom choose the best light and the best spot
Unfortunately, especially when working with a tourist secret proposal, it is often really hard to control the time a proposal is going to happen.
Golden hour is definitely a preference, especially a sunset by itself is a romantic thing so it fits perfectly with the theme.
But when I don't have a choice I try at least to somehow assure the light will be even so that nothing distracts the eye from the magical moment.
I do try to give my opinion on timing based on the experience and in most cases, they take the advice.
Also, regarding the spot.
Especially if they're tourists in a foreign town for the first time, I believe it is good to scout the best places and as a photographer decide which place gives the best technical conditions and romantic atmosphere for the proposal. This way they get a romantic spot and beautiful photos because you are assured you have all the technicalities arranged the best way.
Show him where to kneel
Explaining to him the position and right angle of kneeling is vital and helping him understand better why, so when the moment comes he doesn't forget and do something invented. Make sure you’re positioned so that when they’re facing each other, you can see both of their profiles and the full context all at the same time.
If you can’t see him down on one knee, her reaction, and the environment around them all in one shot, you didn’t do your job well.
One photo should be able to tell the whole story without a single word.
Use a long telephoto lens
Ok, this only stands if you have enough place to distance yourself and shoot from a hidden spot. In that case, I'd recommend the 70-200mm 2.8. The length of the zoom allows you to be physically far enough that you’re not ruining the surprise! — while still being able to get really close with the shot.
During a surprise proposal, the key is you only have seconds to get a pulled-back and tight version of the kneeling shot, so the best way to do this is with a zoomed lens. There is also another situation, as I had recently, where I took my 50mm and shot the moment of proposal. The reason is that this lens in my case gives me better focus, it's faster and sharper than any of my zoomed ones, and I was at the spot where I didn't have to hide. I could blend with other tourists and freely take pictures and she wouldn't suspect it's about them. Win-win situation.
Two cameras and big memory cards
If you’re a solo shooter, definitely two cameras. There’s no time to troubleshoot if your primary camera fails while he’s popping the question, and there’s definitely not enough time to change a memory card if yours gets full. It doesn't even have to be a big technical issue, it can be as small as a shutter button glitch because there's too much moisture in the air (this happened to me at the exact moment of a proposal and I freaked). So why risk, play it safe - second camera and biggest card, framed the day before.
Tell a complete story
One of the most important jobs of a photographer is to be a storyteller, and the story doesn’t start or end when he says, “Will you marry me?”
I fix my camera for the quietest mode and start firing away the moment the couple is in sight. Once the couple is in position for the moment, you should prep for the most important shot: a pulled-back horizontal image that shows their profiles and perspective. You can zoom in for tight shots second, but the context of the pulled-back image is king.
When you’re prepping the guy in advance, ask him what will be the most natural way for them to be your cue signal for the main moment. Hugging her, kissing, taking her hands... That’s his signal that it’s about to happen, so you can be sure to get images not just when he’s down on one knee, but as he’s dropping, too.
Stay in the lens
Don’t move the camera away from your face once she says, “Yes!” Stay in the lens and just keep shooting. The progression of emotion is as powerful as the actual proposal. As soon as you have the shot and the seconds and moments right after, it’s okay to run out of hiding to get different angles and more direct shots of her (first) and then him. In the proposals I’ve done, the brides-to-be have been in so much shock that they didn’t even realize I was there until the whole thing was over and I was literally just a few feet away from them shooting right into their faces.
Introduce yourself and do a mini-engagement session on the spot
The shock causes brides to be in a daze, so speak clearly, especially if the bride doesn’t know you.
For example, “Hi! Congratulations on your proposal, I wish you all the best. I'm Kate and your fiancé hired me to photograph your proposal. We’ve been plotting and planning for weeks! It’s so nice to finally meet you!”
The simpler, the better, to help them get a grip on the situation.
From there, I usually say something like this: “Your fiance also hired me to take some engagement photos for you now. Do you want to touch up your makeup or catch a breath before we get started?”
Getting to do a quick 30-60-minute engagement session before sunset helps complete the story. Just make sure to be extra clear and calm with your posing instructions, since they’ll be more emotional and adrenaline-filled than during a typical engagement session.
So, good luck next time, and I wish you all the prettiest engagement photos.
PRINCINO PHOTOGRAPHY DUBROVNIK | COUPLES PHOTOGRAPHER
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